DJ Steve Porter – “Press Hop” featuring A. Iverson featuring Mora, Green, Namath, Gundy & T O

A woman missed her flight at the boarding gate HKIA

HAHAHA… Asians are funny…

Penn State ‘08 wrap up…

Well, that sucked.  I guess i was a little bit off in my prediction.  I didn’t expect our defense to go so soft.  Kudos to the USC offensive line; Sanchez may have had the stats, but the O-line won them the game.  They kept the pressure off of Sanchez, and in Penn States zone scheme, if you don’t get pressure on the QB with the front 4, you are screwed.  I was upset (and hungover) yesterday, but today i feel a bit better.  We had a great season, and were 2 points away from playing for a National Championship, against a team with less talent than USC.  As the white trash bumper sticker reads:  Shit Happens. 

There were things about this game that made me sick to my stomach ( defensive coaching, defensive playmaking, offensive 3rd down playcalling and execution, my switch from beer to whiskey after that kick in the pills that was the second quarter), but there were also a few things that i was happy to see and am very proud of.  First of all, it would have been easy and almost understandable for Penn State to roll over and play dead following the curb stomping that they received in the second quarter.  They did no such thing.  They came out in the second half and played with heart and pride.  It wasn’t enough to get the victory in the record books, but it showed a lot about the character of this entire team.  Hopefully the rest of the fans and potential recruits could see this like I did.  Speaking of the fans, this was the second thing that I saw positive come out of this game.  The fans that represented us at the Rose Bowl were AWESOME.  They were outnumbered (Pasadena is 2573 miles from State College and 9 miles from Los Angeles) but that didn’t stop them from out-cheering the USC fans.  Just like it would have been easy for the team to give up at halftime, it would have been even easier for the fans to give up on them as well.  They did no such thing.  The Penn State fans stayed until the very end, cheering their team on with pride.  There are no better fans in the world than Penn State football fans. 

So where do we go from here?  We lose several offensive lineman, our entire secondary, and our top 3 receivers that helped turn this program around 4 years ago.  Luckily for us, Joe Paterno’s ‘team first’ philosophy that he has instilled in all of the young men on the team will allow for an easier transition into new roles for the players that have these large shoes to fill.  We never rely too heavily on one or two players.  And while I and the rest of the Penn State world will miss the seniors dearly, life goes on, and so will Penn State football. 

And so begins the ‘off season’ for me, so expect little Penn State football updates here and there, and also some more non-Penn State related material.

WE ARE…

Lets hope that we see Joe Pa back pacing the sidelines next year

AGE BEFORE BEAUTY

OK, so laziness has kept me from posting recentlyand that is unfortunate because there has been a lot going on. Newsome and Hodges commit to PSU, JoePa gets a new hip, and with it, a contract extension. But the main story has been Penn State’s trip to the Rose Bowl today.

Todays game is huge. Nearly every single article written about the Rose Bowl has focused on the USC defense, and how they may be the best defensive squad since JoePa was playing Ivy League football at Brown. Penn State needs to come out and make a statement against USC. They need to get the big feces throwing monkey named Big 10 off their backs. They need to come out and show the country that despite the Big 10 having an off couple of years, that Penn State is the real deal.

These two teams are led by 2 Hall of Fame coaches in Joe Paterno and Pete Caroll, but their coaching styles couldn’t be more different. Joe Pa is an old school dictator of football knowledge and a disciplinarian. He is traditionally media shy and keeps his team out of the lime light whenever possible. Pete Caroll, on the other hand, has Snoop Dogg recruiting players for him and invites Will Farrell to come to practice and tell dick and fart jokes.

Old School learns the New School today. Take notes.

Penn State 17

USC 14

PSU vs MSU predictions

OK, so due to our shitty Comfort Inn in shitty Scranton, PA not having the Big10 network, I was reduced to checking my blackberry every 3 minutes during the wedding ceremony for score updates of the Indiana game.  Therefore there will be no Indiana game follow up, but we won, as expected, and that is the important thing.

Michigan State comes into State College for the final game of the year for both teams.  The Land Grant trophy is on the line (who cares), but more importantly, this game will decide the winner of the Big 10.  With Ohio State presumably ready to absolutely curb stomp Michigan, this game will decide who gets to ’share’ the Big 10 title this year.  Bullshit that we would have to share if we win tomorrow, considering we beat the Buckeyes in the Horseshoe this year, but at least we would get the Rose bowl birth.  Perhaps more important than any of the previously stated events, is the very real possibility that this is Joe Paterno’s last game at Beaver Stadium.  The rumors are flying.  This morning I got an email from a co-worker that works in Mississippi but is a huge Penn State fan.  His cousin’s fiance owns a bar at Penn State, and he got a call from him last night saying that he had been hanging out with Kijana Carter all week, and that KiJana told him that the Blue Band had been pulled from the halftime show, and that Joe was going to announce his retirement at halftime.  He said that a TON of former players, family, and friends had bought up a bunch of tickets on the 50 yrd line.  This is all hearsay, and it sure doesn’t sound like Joe Pa’s style to create a distraction like that, but I guess it could happen, and I just can’t shake the feeling that, no matter how much i don’t want it to be, this is Joes last game at Beaver Stadium.  I sincerely hope that all of the rumors are false, and that Joe goes on to coach until he is 120 years old, and after he dies, they take his head and put it into a jar, and let Joe Pa’s head coach for the rest of eternity, much like President Nixon’s head rules the country in Futurama. 

Run the ball up the middle... forever!!!!

Anyways, on to the game.

I don’t have a terrific feeling about this game.  Michigan State reminds of Iowa, only more talented.  They have a great running back, a pretty good defense, and a lack luster passing game.  The weather will be cold and probably shitty tomorrow, much like the Iowa game was.  The only difference is that this game is being played at home, and I think that will be the deciding factor.  Penn State’s offense hasn’t been the same lately, they seem to be playing too tight, all clenched up like a bitter beer face.  They need to take a deep breath, and let the talent of these offensive players put points on the board.  They are being stifled by play calling that isn’t playing to their strengths.  Let Clark, Royster, and Green run the ball.  Get the ball into the hands of Williams, Butler, and Norwood.  Take a shot or two down field.  Have some damn fun out there!!

Penn State's offense needs to switch to Keystone Light!

Defensively, they need to quit playing scared with a lead.  They need to come after it all game long.  We get ourselves into a shitload of trouble when we play not to lose.  Penn State fans start to get that nauseous feeling in their stomachs when Penn State is up by 6 points with 2 minutes left and our defense goes into this pathetic ’soft zone’, and allow the opposing team to march down the field 10-12 yards at a time.  Ugh.  I understand that you don’t want to give up the big play, but stick with what worked all damn game. 

I am sad to see the season coming to an end, but it has been an amazing year.  We are only 2 points short of an undefeated season so far, and that is something to be proud of.  Sure we all would have loved to see our beloved Lions playing for the National Championship, but playing for its first Rose Bowl since 1994 isn’t too shabby either.

Penn State           24

Michigan State    21

WE ARE….

PSU vs Indiana Preview

*sigh*

I was much more excited about this game a week ago.  That being said, there is still a lot to play for, and Indiana, I hope, will be a confidence booster for the Nittany Lions for their final game against Michigan State.  Penn State needs to take this game seriously, but I have a feeling that they have learned their lesson on ‘looking past’ teams. 

Indiana is outmatched in nearly every single statistical category, and lets face it, Penn State is a MUCH better team than Indiana.  I am not going to get into deep analysis of this game, but I will give my prediction, and I hope I am closer this week than last. 

Penn State   51

Indiana        14

WE ARE…

Little things that make me happy

Since I have been down lately, I have decided to put together a list of the little things in life that make me happy.  If you have a little thing that makes you happy and I didn’t mention it, leave a comment.  If you think I am awesome, leave a comment.  If you think I suck balls, leave a comment.  If you are a hot girl and want to have hot, passionate sex with me, get a life Richard and/or Jon. 

THE LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY:

1. When you go to drop a deuce at work, and you walk in your favorite stall to find the toilet seat up and the blue stuff still in the toilet.  This means that you are the first to use that stall that particular morning, and that you can forgo the usually mandatory ‘toilet paper nest’ and go straight ass to plastic. 
2. When you wake up in the morning, half asleep, and you are sure it is time to get up for work, but when you look at the clock, it reads that there is still another of hour of sleep to be had before the alarm goes off. 
3. When you go out to eat with someone skinny, and they order something off the menu that you know they won’t be able to finish, and that you will reap all the benefits. 
4. Whenever Notre Dame, Michigan, Florida State, or Ohio State lose a football game.*
5. Taking off of work and watching the first 2 days of March Madness.
6. Boobs
7. Seeing Asians either on TV or in public when I am out with my Chinese, Korean, or Japanese roommate, and saying, “Look!  Another Asian”.  Needless to say I giggled like a school girl throughout the entire Beijing Olympics. 
8. The Golden Girls.  Rue McClanahan (Blanche) once came up and spoke to me at the Bollagio in Las Vegas.  Pointless, but true. 
9. Running late for work, but somehow catching all the green lights to make it on time. 
10. When the girl that works at the Baja Fresh that I frequent asks me if I want some ‘cheeps’ instead of ‘chips’. 

*Charlie Wies getting his leg jacked up on the sidelines counts under this category. 

that's what I am talking about

Penn State vs Iowa wrap-up

OK lets get this over with.  Saturday was obviously a huge disappointment.  I’m talking monumental disappointment, similar to what Paris Hilton’s parents must have felt the first time they saw their daughters greenish-white ass bouncing up and down on a cock on the internet.  When that last second field goal went between the uprights, I just felt the months and months of excitement rush out of me all at once, leaving a huge void that i immediately tried to fill with whiskey, but I only ended up feeling more hungover than usual when I woke up on Sunday morning and subsequently was more depressed. 

WHAT WENT WRONG

Where do I start here.  I am not going to get too deep into this, because, frankly, every time I bring it up I feel like Roy Munson must have felt.  Holed up in his piece of shit apartment hugging the toilet bowl with his decrepit landlord lying half naked in his bed, reminding him that he still owes another months rent, and that ‘he really jarred something loose there, tiger’.  I feel like vomiting uncontrollably.

There’s something about good sex that makes me have to crap

Defense. Defense. Defense.  You can say what you want about Daryl Clark having a bad game, and I won’t deny that, he had a terrible showing, but the bottom line is that Penn State has always prided itself on its defense, and that defense decided not to show up in the second half.  They were taken to school by arguably the worst passing game in the Big 10.  In 25 mph winds.  Oh god, here it comes again…. blaaaaaaaaaghhhhhh…. ugh, i hate vomiting. 

A note to Andrew Quarless:  BITE THE FATTEST PART OF MY ASS.  I am through defending you.  I have stuck up for you time and time again, making excuses for your shitty off the field behavior and somehow justifying this to myself because you had so much potential.  Well guess what, you blew it, and you made everyone else who believed in you and gave you a second, third, or fourth chance look like an ass.  You have squandered your talent.  Good luck playing for the Mean Machine in the future, douche. 

This game was officiated terribly.  But for once, it was a fairly terribly officiated game… the refs boned both teams with bad calls.  While our pass interference call on Scirroto and the no-call on the intentional grounding by Stanzi were both bullshit, they may have been out-sucked by the ‘roughing the kicker’ penalty and how Penn State miraculously got the ball back on that first possession at the 1 yard line.  Nope, I can’t blame the refs for this one, we did this to ourselves. 

WHAT DO WE DO NOW??

WIN, stupid!!!  This is still a great team that I am very proud of, and they have a chance to go down as one of the better Penn State teams in its long history at 11-1.  They can’t lose focus.  They are 10x better than Indiana and twice as good as Michigan State.  If they don’t lose their focus, they come out and win the next two games, and book their flights to the Pasadena for the Rose Bowl.  That’s pretty damn good. 

Keep your heads up and finish out the season strong, Penn State.  I don’t have the stomach for another loss. 

Dawson, I know now how you feel…

And much like when Joey dumped you, when your dad died in a car crash because he was eating ice cream at the wheel, and when Pacey invested all of your savings into a company that failed and lost it all, all i want to do is cry like a little bitch, just like you.

Negative and grumpy game review to come later…

Penn State vs Iowa Prediction

See, i told you i would make it in time! 

I’m glad the bye week is over.  I hate bye weeks.  It is like having to wait for your girlfriends ‘Aunt Flo’ to ‘leave town’ before you can continue to ravage her squeeze box for 30 seconds at a time.  It just sucks. 

Texas Tech has jumped over us in the BCS, or BSC, or whatever (JoePa, I love you), but I am not worried about that, Texas Tech will lose one of their next 3 games.  #1 Alabama will probably lose the SEC championship game.  I am worried about a one loss SEC team and a one loss Big 12 team jumping us in the final polls.  But, like the great JoePa, right now I am only concerned about Iowa.

Iowa has a very good running back in Shonn Greene, a pretty good run defense, and are solid on special teams.  I haven’t seen too much Iowa football this year, but I have seen enough.  They will try to run the ball on us, because, frankly, that’s all they’ve got.  Nobody has had success with that plan yet this year (see Wisconsin, Ohio State) and I don’t see that changing this week.  If Penn State gets out to an early lead, this one could be a blowout.  Force the Hawkeyes to pass the ball more than they would like and it will be a long day for Iowa. 

Shonn Greene needs to be the first running back this year to run all over Penn State if Iowa is to have a shot at the upset

I have two mild concerns for this game:  the fact that we tend to come out flat on the road and will this be magnified even more by the bye week?  and the weather.  We will have to wait and see about coming out flat, according to the team, this won’t be a problem this week, but really, has anyone ever said, “I think we are going to come out flat in the first quarter, we really won’t be focused until about 20-25 minutes in”?  I don’t think so, and if they have… send me the clip, because that is fucking awesome.  Regarding the weather, last I checked, there was a 50% chance of snow and winds were predicted to be about 15 mph at game time.  What does this mean for Penn State?  It will be more difficult to exploit the water boy, the equipment manager, and two cheerleaders that Iowa has playing in its secondary.  No big deal, we will just keep passes short and run the ball.  Old fashioned Penn State football, i’m pretty sure they could turn back the clock for one game if they needed to. 

Penn State  31

Iowa           13

Let’s keep it going… WE ARE…

Penn State loves Snow!!