Dance Moves For Every Occasion Vol.2

It’s that time again… Time to broaden your rock and roll horizons. Hopefully in the few weeks since I posted Vol.1, you have practiced and perfected the dance moves that I originally listed, and are thirsty for more. This post comes just in time for The Medium’s show at The Cherrywood Rock Club in Clementon, NJ tomorrow night. If you want to see these moves in action, this would be a great place to check them out, as I will be there, and will surely be pleasing the rock gods with my wicked dance moves. Also attending will be my friends, who must be awesome because they are MY friends, and probably some topless ladies. Enough chit chat, lets get down to business.

1) Picking Up Change or The Floorpunch

This is an advanced maneuver, taken from the ‘hardcore’ and ‘punk’ scene, but translates well into pretty much any genre, except whatever genre Coldplay is in, because they are gay as fuck. There are several variations of this move, but in its simplest form, the dancer basically pretends that an assload of quarters has just been dropped on the ground in front of him, and the dancer must hurry and pick up all the change before the Jews get to it (are you Jewish? then I am just kidding!!!)

Textbook... note the camo shorts... this helps the dancer sneak up on the floor

Textbook... note the camo shorts... this helps the dancer sneak up on the floor

2) The Double Ax Handle

This is a move reserved mainly for larger, less nimble dancers who may not be able to effectively ‘pick up change’ or ‘HLK’, but would still like to announce to everyone in attendance that they approve of what is going on up on stage. To execute this move, simply imagine that you are wielding an ax with both hands, but instead of chopping down a tree, you are wacking the heads off of 14 year old Emo kids.

Creepy baby with unusual amount of hair, seemingly getting ready to unleash the double ax handle fury

Creepy baby with unusual amount of hair, seemingly getting ready to unleash the double ax handle fury

 

3) The Running Man

Fact: White people LOVE to do the running man. Ever since MC Hammer blessed us with, ‘You Can’t Touch This’, and Vanilla Ice brought ‘Ice Ice Baby’ to the table, people have been doing their version of the running man. Most of them are terrible and would actually offend the band/rock gods. But when done correctly, the running man can be an effective move. The man that perfected the running man was Ben ‘The Bosstone’ from The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. He only had one job while the band was performing, and that was to dress up in a suit and do the running man throughout the entire show. Study his form, he is good.

Running Man legend

Ben 'The Bosstone': Running Man legend

Well there you have it.  3 more dance moves to help you rock your fucking socks off.  Use them wisely.
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