Penn State vs Iowa wrap-up

OK lets get this over with.  Saturday was obviously a huge disappointment.  I’m talking monumental disappointment, similar to what Paris Hilton’s parents must have felt the first time they saw their daughters greenish-white ass bouncing up and down on a cock on the internet.  When that last second field goal went between the uprights, I just felt the months and months of excitement rush out of me all at once, leaving a huge void that i immediately tried to fill with whiskey, but I only ended up feeling more hungover than usual when I woke up on Sunday morning and subsequently was more depressed. 

WHAT WENT WRONG

Where do I start here.  I am not going to get too deep into this, because, frankly, every time I bring it up I feel like Roy Munson must have felt.  Holed up in his piece of shit apartment hugging the toilet bowl with his decrepit landlord lying half naked in his bed, reminding him that he still owes another months rent, and that ‘he really jarred something loose there, tiger’.  I feel like vomiting uncontrollably.

Theres something about good sex that makes me have to crap
There’s something about good sex that makes me have to crap

Defense. Defense. Defense.  You can say what you want about Daryl Clark having a bad game, and I won’t deny that, he had a terrible showing, but the bottom line is that Penn State has always prided itself on its defense, and that defense decided not to show up in the second half.  They were taken to school by arguably the worst passing game in the Big 10.  In 25 mph winds.  Oh god, here it comes again…. blaaaaaaaaaghhhhhh…. ugh, i hate vomiting. 

A note to Andrew Quarless:  BITE THE FATTEST PART OF MY ASS.  I am through defending you.  I have stuck up for you time and time again, making excuses for your shitty off the field behavior and somehow justifying this to myself because you had so much potential.  Well guess what, you blew it, and you made everyone else who believed in you and gave you a second, third, or fourth chance look like an ass.  You have squandered your talent.  Good luck playing for the Mean Machine in the future, douche. 

This game was officiated terribly.  But for once, it was a fairly terribly officiated game… the refs boned both teams with bad calls.  While our pass interference call on Scirroto and the no-call on the intentional grounding by Stanzi were both bullshit, they may have been out-sucked by the ‘roughing the kicker’ penalty and how Penn State miraculously got the ball back on that first possession at the 1 yard line.  Nope, I can’t blame the refs for this one, we did this to ourselves. 

WHAT DO WE DO NOW??

WIN, stupid!!!  This is still a great team that I am very proud of, and they have a chance to go down as one of the better Penn State teams in its long history at 11-1.  They can’t lose focus.  They are 10x better than Indiana and twice as good as Michigan State.  If they don’t lose their focus, they come out and win the next two games, and book their flights to the Pasadena for the Rose Bowl.  That’s pretty damn good. 

Keep your heads up and finish out the season strong, Penn State.  I don’t have the stomach for another loss. 

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